Speaking

Will be the Keynote speaker at The Newport Beach Camber of Commerce Scholastics Award Breakfast

7:15am- Island Hotel- April 26th -Thursday. About 300 guests.

And later that day (Thursday)….keynote at Cal State Fullerton University.

This will be the 51st annual event which is sponsored by the Commodores & the Newport Beach Chamber of Commerce.

We will be honoring 30 of the top students from Newport Harbor High School & Corona Del Mar High School.

Most of these students have maintained over a 4 Point average throughout their 4 years in high school and all have given back

to the community and provided service to a charity, or a non-profit organization.

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Just Stay

Just Stay

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.

“Your son is here,” she said to the old man.

She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened.

Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent.. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.

He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital – the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients..

Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.
Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.

“Who was that man?” he asked.

The nurse was startled, “He was your father,” she answered.

“No, he wasn’t,” the Marine replied. “I never saw him before in my life..”
“Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?”
“I knew right away there had been a mistake,

but I also knew he needed his son, and his
son just wasn’t here.
When I realized that he was too sick to tell
whether or not I was his son,
knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.”
I came here tonight to
find a Mr. William Grey.
His Son was Killed in Iraq
today, and I was sent to
inform him. What was this
Gentleman’s Name?

The Nurse with Tears in
Her Eyes Answered,
Mr. William Grey………….

The next time someone needs you …….. just be there. Stay.

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I Wish you Enough

I wish you Enough !

Recently I overheard a Father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.

Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the Father said, ‘I love you, and I wish you enough.’

The daughter replied, ‘Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Dad..’

They kissed and the daughter left. The Father walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, ‘Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?’

‘Yes, I have,’ I replied. ‘Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?’.

‘I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is – the next trip back will be for my funeral,’ he said.

‘When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?’

He began to smile. ‘That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone..’ He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. ‘When we said, ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.’ Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how grey the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.

He then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.

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HOW to –Promote a Positive Image

We have all heard the expression: “We are what we think most about”…!!! Some people just think positive–some just think negative. So much of this belief is tied to one’s self-esteem and confidence.

Self esteem is a term that describes how we feel about ourselves. It affects every aspect of our lives–how we think, act, feel, and how we relate to others. People aren’t born with self-esteem. It comes from a lifetime of experiences and relationships. Family, home, school, work, and social life all contribute to our self worth. There are several steps you can take to retrieve your self-esteem and continue on with a productive happy lifestyle. First, look at your strengths. By making a list of all the things you do well, you can reinforce the positive aspects of your personality. If you’ve trouble listing them, have a friend help you. Also, make a list of your weaknesses. It forces you to take an honest look at the things you don’t like about yourself, thereby creating a great starting point for improvement. Making changes is a difficult step, so try to picture yourself at your best and keep that image in mind when tackling a difficult day. Being with people who help you feel good about yourself is an excellent way to strengthen those relationships and enjoy yourself more. Most importantly, take pride in what you do. Encourage and praise yourself. This, along with eating right and exercising, will help you to develop both good mental and physical self-esteem. For more information on support groups and individual counseling, contact your local hospital or community center.

If you are making adjustments to your life style that might be 10 or 20 years in the making…..to expect over-night results would be insane….it’s a process. Give it the appropriate time, just make sure that you don’t stall and you are making slight improvment every week…..!!

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How to Connect with Your Kids

by Bill Morris CEO- Success4Teens.com

It seems that since the beginning of time there seems to be a communication failure between the parental unit (mom & dad) and their offspring (son/daughter). Well, that’s because parents and kids, (a) speak different languages, and (b) have different needs, wants and desires.

For example, as a parent I might be concerned with paying my mortgage and getting along with my spouse, as a teenager I might be concerned about purchasing the next Snoop Dogg or Coldplay CD or possibly getting hold of the new Grand Theft Auto video game.

As a teenager it’s almost an unwritten law to question authority and work against the parental units, because it’s cool. It’s cool because as teenagers we think that mom and dad are “square” and if you are “square”, by definition you know very little.

So now comes the dilemma –“ HOW ” can I reach my kid and impart some common sense into their brain. Well, forget it. The harder we try the less we have to show for it and the more frustration we create for ourselves, which in turn effects us in a negative way. That negative effect snowballs and we are worse off than when we started.

So what is a parent to do? The reality is that our offspring is actually on “automatic pilot”, so, we as parents need to come in from another angle. We need to learn their language and we need to understand their needs. One thing most parents forget is that the “teen brain” is still developing and will until they are in their early twenties. You are saying I’ve tried to communicate with them, but “they/ the offspring” won’t “let me in”.

I always say: “If you always do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you always got”. Think OUTSIDE the box this time.

Create “date night”. This is a night where one parental unit goes out for dinner with one offspring. The rules are simple:

(1.) the parental unit does not talk about school or the myriad of other “gripe issues” they have with the offspring
(2.) the parental unit only talks about how much he/she loves the offspring, no matter what ever happens in life
(3.) the parental unit endorses the fact that he/she knows the offspring will be successful regardless of whatever he/she does in life
(4.) the parental unit does not have an agenda, but rather is there to listen, and on date #1 there might not be that much to listen to.
(5.) the parental unit explains that the offspring can talk about anything they want without fear of reprisal (and mean it).

(6.) the parental unit will share some vulnerabilities (I know this is hard- but necessary ) like something about his/her job they are concerned with that the offspring did not know and maybe his/her spouse does not even know.

(7.) if date night is say Tuesday…..make it every Tuesday.

When I created the DVD Success4teens, a DVD showing kids HOW to “get it together” mentally, physically and spiritually, it was designed from the heart and soul of the parental unit.

After all, it’s not always the message they choose to ignore, it’s the messenger. Let me that messenger. Even if we say the same thing, they might be enamored with my background on Wall Street or that I hold a World Record in fitness.

This DVD is everything we want to say to our kids and more…….because we love them more than life itself, we want the best for them and shouldn’t care HOW they get the message.

In our heart and soul we know their success is our happiness!

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Losing Weight (Part 3)

Leanness Law No. 3: Go Lean
Always choose pasture-raised meats, which, studies show, have less fat than their confined, grain-fed counterparts and none of the weight-promoting hormones. Plus, grass-fed beef contains 60 percent more omega-3s, 200 percent more vitamin E and two to three times more conjugated linoleic acid (CLA, a near-magic nutrient that helps ward off heart disease, cancer and diabetes, and can help you lose weight, according to a study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition) than conventional beef. If you must choose a conventional cut of beef, choose lean cuts top sirloin, 95 percent lean ground beef, bottom round roast, eye round roast, top round roast or sirloin tip steak. Bison burgers and veggie burgers are also great substitutes when grass-fed beef isn’t available. And select sustainable lean fish with low toxic loads (meaning low levels of toxins like mercury and PCBs). A study in the journal Occupational and Environmental Medicine found that even though the pesticide DDT was banned in 1973, the chemical and its breakdown product DDE can still be found today in fatty fish. Bigger fish eat smaller fish, and so carry a much higher toxic load.

Avoid ahi or bigeye tuna, tilefish, swordfish, shark, king mackerel, marlin and orange roughy — and focus on smaller fish like anchovies, Atlantic herring and mackerel, and wild-caught Alaskan salmon. Choose farmed rainbow trout, farmed mussels, anchovies, scallops (bay, farmed), Pacific cod, Pacific Halibut, Tuna (canned light) and mahimahi. Also, when you cook the fish, broil, poach, grill, boil or bake instead of pan-frying — this will allow contaminants from the fatty portions of fish to drain out.

Leanness Law No. 4: Filter Your Water

The best way to eliminate EDCs from your tap water is an activated carbon water filter. Available for faucets and pitchers, and as under-the-sink units, these filters remove most pesticides and industrial pollutants. Check the label to make sure the filter meets the NSF/American National Standards Institute’s standard 53, indicating that it treats water for both health and aesthetic concerns. Try The Brita Aqualux ($28, brita.com), Pur Horizontal faucet filter ($49, purwaterfilter.com) and Kenmore’s under-sink system ($60, kenmore.com). However, if you have perchlorate (a component of rocket fuel!) in your water (you can find out by asking your municipal water supplier for a copy of its most recent water-quality report) you’ll need a reverse osmosis filter. But for every five gallons of treated water they create per day, they discharge 40 to 90 gallons of wastewater, so make sure it’s necessary before purchasing one.

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Losing Weight (Part 2)

Leanness Law No. 1: Know When to Go Organic
The average American is exposed to 10 to 13 different pesticides through food, beverages and drinking water every day and nine of the ten most common pesticides are EDCs. But according to a recent study in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives, eating an organic diet for just five days can reduce circulating pesticide EDCs to non-detectable or near non-detectable levels.

Of course, organic foods can be expensive. But not all organics are created equal—many foods have such low levels of pesticides that buying organic just isn’t worth it. The Environmental Working Group (EWG) calculated that you can reduce your pesticide exposure nearly 80 percent simply by choosing organic for the 12 fruits and vegetables shown in their tests to contain the highest levels of pesticides. They call them “The Dirty Dozen,” and (starting with the worst) they are celery, peaches, strawberries, apples, blueberries (domestic), nectarines, sweet bell peppers, spinach, kale/collard greens, cherries, potatoes and grapes (imported). And you can feel good about buying the following 15 conventionally grown fruits and vegetables that the EWG dubbed “The Clean Fifteen,” because they were shown to have little pesticide residue: onions, avocado, sweet corn (frozen), pineapples, mango, sweet peas (frozen), asparagus, kiwi fruit, cabbage, eggplant, cantaloupe (domestic), watermelon, grapefruit, sweet potatoes and honeydew melon.

Leanness Law No. 2: Don’t Eat Plastic
This ought to be a no-brainer. Indeed, you’re probably already thinking, Well, I don’t generally eat plastic. Ah, but you do. Chances are that you’re among the 93 percent of Americans with detectable levels of bisphenol-A (BPA) in their bodies, and that you’re also among the 75 percent of Americans with detectable levels of phthalates. Both are synthetic chemicals found in plastics that mimic estrogen — essentially, artificial female hormones. And like pesticides, these plastic-based chemicals trick our bodies into storing fat and not building or retaining muscle. Decreasing your exposure to plastic-based obesogens will maximize your chances both of losing unwanted flab and of building lean muscle mass. Here’s how: 1) Never heat food in plastic containers or put plastic items in the dishwasher, which can damage them and increase leaching. BPA leaches from polycarbonate sports bottles 55 times faster when exposed to boiling liquids as opposed to cold ones, according to a study in the journal Toxicology Letters. 2) Avoid buying fatty foods like meats that are packaged in plastic wrap because EDCs are stored in fatty tissue. The plastic wrap used at the supermarket is mostly PVC, whereas the plastic wrap you buy to wrap things at home is increasingly made from polyethylene. 3) Cut down on canned goods by choosing tuna in a pouch over canned tuna. And get any canned and jarred foods from Eden Organic, one of the only companies that doesn’t have BPA in its cans.

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Losing Weight (Part 1)

The White House Task Force on Childhood Obesity released a report called “Solving the Problem of Childhood Obesity Within a Generation.” In the report they list endocrine-disrupting chemicals as a possible reason for increased obesity in the country and describe how scientists have coined a new term for these chemicals — “obesogens” — because they “may promote weight gain and obesity.”

What does this mean for you? It means that weight gain is not just about calories-in versus calories-out.

No, America’s obesity crisis can’t entirely be blamed on too much fast food and too little exercise. We have to consider a third factor: the obesogens. They’re natural and synthetic compounds, and many of these chemicals work by mimicking estrogen — the very hormone that doctors DON’T want women taking anymore (as a large clinical trial linked hormone therapy to increased risk of heart disease, breast cancer, stroke, blood clots and abnormal mammograms).

Why traditional diets don’t work anymore

Because high school biology was likely a while back, here’s a quick refresher: The endocrine system is made up of all the glands and cells that produce the hormones that regulate our bodies. Growth and development, sexual function, reproductive processes, mood, sleep, hunger, stress, metabolism and the way our bodies use food — it’s all controlled by hormones. So whether you’re tall or short, lean or heavy — that’s all determined in a big way by your endocrine system.

But your endocrine system is a finely tuned instrument that can easily be thrown off-kilter. “Obesogens are thought to act by hijacking the regulatory systems that control body weight,” says Frederick vom Saal, Ph.D., curators’ professor of biological sciences at the University of Missouri. That’s why endocrine disruptors are so good at making us fat — and that’s why diet advice doesn’t always work — because even strictly following the smartest traditional advice won’t lower your obesogen exposure. See, an apple a day may have kept the doctor away 250 years ago when Benjamin Franklin included the phrase in his almanac. But if that apple comes loaded with obesity-promoting chemicals — nine of the ten most commonly used pesticides are obesogens, and apples are one of the most pesticide-laden foods out there — then Ben’s advice is way out of date.

The obesogen effect is the reason why traditional diet advice — choose chicken over beef, eat more fish, load up on fruits and vegetables — may not work anymore. This is why we’re calling for a New American Diet.

See, while digging up all of this research on obesogens we’ve discovered some good news: There’s no reason why all of our favorite foods — from steak to burgers, from pasta to ice cream — can’t be part of a reasonable weight-loss program. We just need to get rid of old thinking. We can reverse the obesogen effect if we simply adopt these four simple laws of leanness:  See Part 2 tomorrow, thanks.

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My First Major Fitness Goal

In the vast majority of speeches I give, a consistent question comes up regarding my first major fitness goal.

Well, this is HOW it all began…..!!!

When I was 33 years old I set a” two year goal” for myself. This goal was to complete 3500 sit-ups –on my 35th birthday. At 4:30am on my birthday I went to the gym and began the feat. It was lonely, because I was the only one there, and I laid down a match stick for every 100 I would do until I had thirty-five match sticks. Well before 7:00am it was goal ACCOMPLISHED.

So to raise money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, I thought we could do a push-up and a sit-up contest with several of the NY sports teams. They asked me how many we should do and I said How about 500 sit-ups and 500 push-ups……!! They said they did not think they could do that many and declined my invitation.

Time for “Plan B”…(always have a Plan B). It was time to go see my Big Boss, so I went to my chairman (Al Gordon) and said I’m going to do a Sit-Up-A-Thon, so for every sit-up I do, I want you to donate a dollar…and he said…… Yes !!!.   It’s funny, because I was so excited that as I was leaving I realized he never asked me How many I was going to do. So I said “Al, you never asked me how many I was going to attempt”. He said, Oh, How many?? I said 5000. He didn’t even blink and said great, Good Luck..!!

I had done 5 of these fund raising events over five years.  The first year I did five thousand, the second year ten thousand, then fifteen thousand, then twenty thousand, and then I actually did twenty five thousand.  I don’t count the twenty five thousand because I took bathroom breaks, but the five, ten, fifteen and twenty were all consecutive.  I ended up setting a world record for consecutive sit-ups for 20,100 which took be eleven hour and thirty two minutes…!!!

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Two Choices

The measure of a man is determined by the compassion and empathy he has for the less fortunate. Often time we read about teens being mean to other kids, but all too often there are stories that balance those out. This is one of them forwarded to me by my brother Mark who I thank and love dearly. I think compassion is birthed in the heart and soul and is feed by a strong belief in oneself and doing the right thing. Strong self confidence and a sense of self esteem are the fundamental cornerstones to this building. Enjoy “Two Choices”.

Two  Choices

What  would you do?….you make the choice. Don’t look  for a punch line, there isn’t one. Read it  anyway. My question is: Would you have made the  same choice?

At  a fundraising dinner for a school that serves  children with learning disabilities, the father  of one of the students delivered a speech that  would never be forgotten by all who attended.  After extolling the school and its
dedicated  staff, he offered a question:
‘When not  interfered with by outside influences,  everything nature does, is done with  perfection.
Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn  things as other children do. He cannot  understand things as other children  do.
Where  is the natural order of things in my  son?’

The  audience was stilled by the  query.

The father continued. ‘I  believe that when a child like Shay, who was  mentally and physically disabled comes into the  world, an opportunity to realize true human  nature presents itself, and it comes in the way  other people treat that child.’

Then he  told the following story:

Shay  and I had walked past a park where some boys  Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, ‘Do  you think they’ll let me play?’ I knew that most  of the boys would not want someone like Shay on  their team, but as a father I also  understood that if my son were allowed to play,  it would give him a much-needed sense of  belonging and some confidence to be accepted by  others in spite of his  handicaps.

I approached one of  the boys on the field and asked (not expecting  much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around  for guidance and said, ‘We’re losing by six runs  and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he  can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in  to bat in the ninth inning.’

Shay  struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a  broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with  a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.  The boys saw my joy at my son being  accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth  inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was  still behind by three.

In the top of the  ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in  the right field. Even though no hits came his  way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the  game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear  as I waved to him from the stands.

In the  bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored  again.

Now, with two outs and the bases  loaded, the potential winning run was on base  and Shay was scheduled to be next at  bat.

At this juncture, do the  others let Shay bat and give away their chance  to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was  given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all  but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how  to hold the bat properly, much less connect with  the ball.

However, as Shay  stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher,  recognizing that the other team was putting  winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life,  moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly  so Shay could at least make contact.

The  first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and  missed.

The pitcher again took a few  steps forward to toss the ball softly towards  Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at  the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back  to the pitcher.

The game would  now be over.

The pitcher picked up the  soft grounder and could have easily thrown the  ball to the first baseman.

Shay would  have been out and that would have been the end  of the game.

Instead, the pitcher  threw the ball right over the first baseman’s  head, out of reach of all team  mates.

Everyone from the stands and both  teams started yelling, ‘Shay, run to  first!

Run to first!’

Never in his  life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it  to first base.

He scampered down the  baseline, wide-eyed and  startled.

Everyone yelled, ‘Run  to second, run to second!’

Catching his  breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second,  gleaming and struggling to make it to the  base.

By the time Shay rounded towards  second base, the right fielder had the ball. The  smallest guy on their team who now had his first  chance to be the hero for his team.

He  could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman  for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s  intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the  ball high and far over the third-baseman’s  head.

Shay ran toward third base  deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled  the bases toward home.

All were  screaming, ‘Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way  Shay’

Shay reached third base  because the opposing shortstop ran to help him  by turning him in the direction of third base,  and shouted, ‘Run to third!

Shay, run to  third!’

As Shay rounded third,  the boys from both teams, and the spectators,  were on their feet screaming, ‘Shay, run home!  Run home!’

Shay ran to home, stepped on  the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit  the grand slam and won the game for his  team

‘That day’, said the father  softly with tears now rolling down his face,  ’the boys from both teams helped bring a piece  of true love and humanity into this  world’.

Shay didn’t make it to  another summer. He died that winter, having  never forgotten being the hero and making me so  happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother  tearfully embrace her little hero of the day  !

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO  THIS STORY:

We all can make a  difference.

We  all have thousands of opportunities every single  day to help realize the ‘natural order of  things.’

So many seemingly trivial  interactions between two people present us with  a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark  of love and humanity or do we pass up those  opportunities and leave the world a little bit  colder in the process?

A wise man  once said every society is judged by how it  treats it’s least fortunate amongst  them.

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