A few days ago a mom wrote to me and asked where and when I was speaking in Southern California. I informed her that I was speaking at Creekside H.S.  Leadership Academy in Irvine and also Cal State Fullerton over the next few weeks.

The mom also thought that her daughter might not watch the Success4Teens DVD if she gave it to her, but that she might be more inclined to watch it in a “group setting”.  I agreed with the mom that it was highly unlikely that her daughter would watch it for two specific reasons. 1.) it was provided by “the parental unit” therefore no good, and 2.) she ’s not motivated to succeed- only her mother is.

What’s more important was exploring the “group setting”. This is where I need to be real clear. My belief (as covered in my Success4Teens DVD) is that 95% of the people on the planet are not successful, and that’s because they are part of  “the herd” or the “group setting”. And as we always said on Wall Street, the herd gets slaughtered”…!!!

Success, in my opinion, is very INDIVIDUALISTIC”. The success principles I laid out in “Formula for Success” aka. Success4Teens are for individuals to execute – NOT groups. The rules for success are  proper time management, goal setting, knowing HOW to deal with setbacks and HOW to create a positive mental attitude…..these are done on an individual basis not a group basis. The DVD Success4Teens is meant to educate first, then inspire. Motivation comes when the individual employs the principles…!!!!

When you are on a plane and you hit turbulence, the oxygen masks drops…….what do they say..”Always put yours on first”…..it’s the same thing, take care of YOU first….then and only then can you help someone sitting next to you…!!

It seems that since the beginning of time there seems to be a communication failure between the parental unit (mom & dad) and their offspring (son/daughter). Well, that’s because parents and kids, (a) speak different languages, and (b) have different needs, wants and desires.

For example, as a parent I might be concerned with paying my mortgage and getting along with my spouse, as a teenager I might be concerned about purchasing the next Snoop Dogg or Coldplay CD or possibly getting hold of the new Grand Theft Auto video game.

As a teenager it’s almost an unwritten law to question authority and work against the parental units, because it’s cool. It’s cool because as teenagers we think that mom and dad are “square” and if you are “square”, by definition you know very little.

So now comes the dilemma –“ HOW ” can I reach my kid and impart some common sense into their brain. Well, forget it. The harder we try the less we have to show for it and the more frustration we create for ourselves, which in turn effects us in a negative way. That negative effect snowballs and we are worse off than when we started.

So what is a parent to do? The reality is that our offspring is actually on “automatic pilot”, so, we as parents need to come in from another angle. We need to learn their language and we need to understand their needs. One thing most parents forget is that the “teen brain” is still developing and will until they are in their early twenties. You are saying I’ve tried to communicate with them, but “they/ the offspring” won’t “let me in”.

I always say: “If you always do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you always got”. Think OUTSIDE the box this time.

Create “date night”. This is a night where one parental unit goes out for dinner with one offspring. The rules are simple:

(1.) the parental unit does not talk about school or the myriad of other “gripe issues” they have with the offspring
(2.) the parental unit only talks about how much he/she loves the offspring, no matter what ever happens in life
(3.) the parental unit endorses the fact that he/she knows the offspring will be successful regardless of whatever he/she does in life
(4.) the parental unit does not have an agenda, but rather is there to listen, and on date #1 there might not be that much to listen to.
(5.) the parental unit explains that the offspring can talk about anything they want without fear of reprisal (and mean it).

(6.) the parental unit will share some vulnerabilities (I know this is hard- but necessary ) like something about his/her job they are concerned with that the offspring did not know and maybe his/her spouse does not even know.

(7.) if date night is say Tuesday…..make it every Tuesday.

When I created the DVD Success4teens, a DVD showing kids HOW to “get it together” mentally, physically and spiritually, it was designed from the heart and soul of the parental unit.

After all, it’s not always the message they choose to ignore, it’s the messenger. Let me that messenger. Even if we say the same thing, they might be enamored with my background on Wall Street or that I hold a World Record in fitness.

This DVD is everything we want to say to our kids and more…….because we love them more than life itself, we want the best for them and shouldn’t care HOW they get the message.

In our heart and soul we know their success is our happiness!

Many teens as well as parents approach me and ask; “Is the  Success4Teens, aka Formula for Success a self- help DVD”. Well first, one has to ask what is self- help..? When defining such a term, it’s assumed that there is something in one’s life that’s NOT working, at least not working the way they want things to work.

Troubled teens are faced with a multitude of issues, such as depression, lack of motivation, issues with their self-esteem and confidence, drugs, booze, even issues with their perception of their “body” and weight loss issues.

The DVD Success4teens covers the fundamentals of How to get it together, mentally, physically and spiritually. Each is a lesson in and of itself, and all together is like the “three legged stool”…if one leg is not working, the stool will not function.

It can be overwhelming as to exactly where to begin. The head needs to be on straight, so let’s start with the mental part. This section works with the issues of goal setting, time management, how to deal with setbacks and How to create that “all illusive” positive mental attitude.

Tomorrow we will begin at the beginning…….stay tuned….!!

I was asked recently what I thought was the most important part of my dvd “Formula for Success” and for me the answer was simple it all has to do with “attitude”.

Within the “Formula” there are two sections that deal with this topic specifically…….the first is PMA or Positive Mental Attitude and the second is Dealing with Setbacks.

The art of Happiness is born in the mind, cultured in experience and developed only by practice. William Shakespeare said: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”. Your personal philosophy determines how you respond to events that come into your life. It is completely responsible for your state of happiness and well-being. Although you may find this a little hard to believe, your personal philosophy also determines what happens to you.

What happens to events in your life is governed by your mindset.

Think like a railroad switch. Each time an event occurs, you channel the activity onto the positive or negative track. Even though the event hurt you, you are still in charge of channeling it onto a positive or negative track…….only YOU can determine its future outcome.

Before I had this concept mastered (and I’m still working it) I would find that taking an event (say divorce) and channeling it to the negative track………would eventually have me “coming and going to the dark side. In fact, I would also get physically ill…..(see my previous blog on the importance of the body-mind connection).

So now you are saying ok Bill, “What are you suppose to do when you get divorce……party???  Well, yes in a way. To reach the goal of happiness, act as though the following statement is true: “Everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that can happen to me”. Like the equation of 1+1=2. That statement + new results = Happiness.

I know this seems like a lot to absorb, but trust me, working the brain is just like working any other muscle in the body. It’s choice and the decision is totally in your hands.

Always ask yourself….”Are you living or are you surviving”….!!!!

A few days ago a mom wrote to me and asked where and when I was speaking in Southern California. I informed her that I was speaking at Creekside H.S.  Leadership Academy in Irvine and also Cal State Fullerton over the next few weeks.

The mom also thought that her daughter might not watch the Success4Teens DVD if she gave it to her, but that she might be more inclined to watch it in a “group setting”.  I agreed with the mom that it was highly unlikely that her daughter would watch it for two specific reasons. 1.) it was provided by “the parental unit” therefore no good, and 2.) she ’s not motivated to succeed- only her mother is.

What’s more important was exploring the “group setting”. This is where I need to be real clear. My belief (as covered in my Success4Teens DVD) is that 95% of the people on the planet are not successful, and that’s because they are part of  “the herd” or the “group setting”. And as we always said on Wall Street, the herd gets slaughtered”…!!!

Success, in my opinion, is very INDIVIDUALISTIC”. The success principles I laid out in “Formula for Success” aka. Success4Teens are for individuals to execute – NOT groups. The rules for success are  proper time management, goal setting, knowing HOW to deal with setbacks and HOW to create a positive mental attitude…..these are done on an individual basis not a group basis. The DVD Success4Teens is meant to educate first, then inspire. Motivation comes when the individual employs the principles…!!!!

I have often been asked how did I set the World Record for completing 20,100 consecutive sit-ups in 11hours and 32 minutes. There are many factors, however today I want to talk about just one of them -  proper breathing techniques and the benefits derived from them. In my DVD success4teens or Formula for Success,  I only touch upon these techniques when I did the fitness section.  I’d like to give credit to Mike Kramer for writing the following article which accurately describes the features and benefits of :

Proper Breathing

Proper breathing is an underestimated, but critical building block of good health. Slow, deep breathing gets rid of carbon dioxide waste and takes plenty of clean, fresh oxygen to your brain and muscles. More blood cells get the new, oxygen-rich air instead of the same old stale stuff. Experts estimate that proper breathing helps your body eliminate toxins 15 times faster than poor, shallow breathing. You’ll not only be healthier, but you’ll be able to perform better (mentally and physically) and, of course, be less stressed and more relaxed.

Here’s an exercise that will help you get the full benefits of good breathing. The techniques in this exercise are ones you should try to develop in your normal breathing, and that could take practice. Try to take about 10 minutes, but it can happen in five by cutting the time for each step in half. Most of it can be done anywhere you need to relax or clear your head:

1. Get Ready (2 minutes) Make the room dark, or at least darker. Lie down flat on your back, or sit against a wall. Use a pillow for comfort. Make sure no part of your body is strained or supporting weight. Close your eyes. Just pay attention to your breathing for a minute or two. Don’t try to change it, just notice how it feels. Imagine the fresh blood flowing through your body. Listen to your surroundings.
2. Stage I (2 minutes) Practice breathing in and out of your nose. Exhaling through the mouth is okay for quick relaxation, but for normal breathing, in and out the nose is best. Take long breaths, not deep breaths. Try not to force it, you shouldn’t hear your breath coming in or out. You’re drawing slow breaths, not gulping it or blowing it out. Feel the rhythm of your breathing.
3. Stage II (3 minutes) Good breathing is done through the lower torso, rather than the upper torso. Each breath should expand your belly, your lower back and ribs. Relax your shoulders and try not to breathe with your chest. Put your hands on your stomach and feel them rise and fall. If it’s not working, push down gently with your hands for a few breaths and let go. Your stomach should start to move more freely. Relax your face, your neck, your cheeks, your jaw, your temples, even your tongue.
4. Stage III (3 minutes) Feel the good air entering your lungs and feel the stale air leaving your body. “In with the good, out with the bad” is definitely true here. Make your exhale as long as your inhale to make sure all the bad air is gone. Remember, long slow breaths. Most people take 12-16 breaths per minute. Ideally, it should be 8-10. Now try to make your exhale a little longer than your inhale for a while. Pause after your exhale without taking a breath. Focus on the stillness and on not forcing an inhale. Your body will breathe when it needs to.

I was asked recently what I thought was the most important part of my dvd “Formula for Success” and for me the answer was simple it all has to do with “attitude”.

Within the “Formula” there are two sections that deal with this topic specifically…….the first is PMA or Positive Mental Attitude and the second is Dealing with Setbacks.

The art of Happiness is born in the mind, cultured in experience and developed only by practice. William Shakespeare said: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”. Your personal philosophy determines how you respond to events that come into your life. It is completely responsible for your state of happiness and well-being. Although you may find this a little hard to believe, your personal philosophy also determines what happens to you.

What happens to events in your life is governed by your mindset.

Think like a railroad switch. Each time an event occurs, you channel the activity onto the positive or negative track. Even though the event hurt you, you are still in charge of channeling it onto a positive or negative track…….only YOU can determine its future outcome.

Before I had this concept mastered (and I’m still working it) I would find that taking an event (say divorce) and channeling it to the negative track………would eventually have me “coming and going to the dark side. In fact, I would also get physically ill…..(and we will address the importance of the body-mind connection later).

So now you are saying ok Bill, “What are you suppose to do when you get divorce……party???  Well, yes in a way. To reach the goal of happiness, act as though the following statement is true: “Everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that can happen to me”. Like the equation of 1+1=2. That statement + new results = Happiness.

I know this seems like a lot to absorb, but trust me, working the brain is just like working any other muscle in the body. It’s choice and the decision is totally in your hands.

In my DVD success4teens aka “Formula for Success” we talk about relationships in the “Giving Back” section. In that DVD section I talk about HOW you have to love yourself first, before you can love another. The reason for this is because YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE….!!! Relationships are complex because we are not only trying to deal with “our stuff”, but we think about “their stuff” and are they feeling what we are feeling?? The best thing that an individual can do for themselves is to love themselves first, so even IF love does NOT come along, at least there is a “mini-love fest” with YOU.

I always say: ” a package attracts a package”, and “a project attracts a project”. When we find ourselves attracting the WRONG one it’s because we are not in the “same” group. Get to love YOU and you will find someone that loves THEMSELVES, and then, and only then, will you have a shot at success.

In the Formula for Success we talk about “getting healthy”, that’s an individual that has goals, has a positive mental attitude, knows how to deal with setbacks, has developed self confidence and self-esteem and compliments all this with good fitness and nutrition.

Relationships are complex at best—- tomorrow I will cover some great suggestions for healthy realtionships.

Over the years many moms and dads have asked me to motivate their teens. I think I am consistent when I say nobody can motivate someone “only inspire”. What I mean by this is— motivation comes from within oneself —how it gets there- is through inspiration and education.

When I developed “Formula for Success” it was to take the elements of mental, physical and spiritual and devise a “game plan” for success. As I always say if one of the legs on this 3 legged stool is missing it will not stand.

Inspiration comes in many formats. The two extremes are coming from the light or even coming from the dark (FEAR). Either way one can be successful if their goals are realistic and attainable. For example, one young man I dealt with had a fear of being poor and became motivated to “make it happen”. It was not that he had a desire to be rich–it was prompted by the fact he did not want to be poor.

Kids I speak to in college and High School have different reasons for wanting to be successful and that’s fine. It all starts with a “roadmap” a “game plan” –a call to action.

The quote on the back of my business card says: There are only three types of people in this world : Those that “make it happen”, those that “watch it happen” and those that say “WHAT happened”?

Which one are you??

I will be speaking at Cal State Fullerton in April. The topic is: “Stress & Success in Family Life”. Some might think these are unrelated topics and some might see these as “one and the same”.  My belief is that most stress is due to the lack of 1. effective personal time management, 2. setting and executing proper attainable goals,3. knowing HOW to deal with setbacks, and 4. having or knowing HOW to create a PMA or positive mental attitude.

In my dvd “Formula for Success” aka Success4teens, I examine success from three perspectives and refer this to a “3 legged stool” (Mental, Physical and Spiritual). What happens if one of the legs is missing….right- it won’t stand.  Well, the aforementioned, covers the mental part….HOW to SET the MIND up…!!