A few days ago a mom wrote to me and asked where and when I was speaking in Southern California. I informed her that I was speaking at Creekside H.S. Leadership Academy in Irvine and also Cal State Fullerton over the next few weeks.
The mom also thought that her daughter might not watch the Success4Teens DVD if she gave it to her, but that she might be more inclined to watch it in a “group setting”. I agreed with the mom that it was highly unlikely that her daughter would watch it for two specific reasons. 1.) it was provided by “the parental unit” therefore no good, and 2.) she ’s not motivated to succeed- only her mother is.
What’s more important was exploring the “group setting”. This is where I need to be real clear. My belief (as covered in my Success4Teens DVD) is that 95% of the people on the planet are not successful, and that’s because they are part of “the herd” or the “group setting”. And as we always said on Wall Street, the herd gets slaughtered”…!!!
Success, in my opinion, is very INDIVIDUALISTIC”. The success principles I laid out in “Formula for Success” aka. Success4Teens are for individuals to execute – NOT groups. The rules for success are proper time management, goal setting, knowing HOW to deal with setbacks and HOW to create a positive mental attitude…..these are done on an individual basis not a group basis. The DVD Success4Teens is meant to educate first, then inspire. Motivation comes when the individual employs the principles…!!!!
When you are on a plane and you hit turbulence, the oxygen masks drops…….what do they say..”Always put yours on first”…..it’s the same thing, take care of YOU first….then and only then can you help someone sitting next to you…!!
Many teens as well as parents approach me and ask; “Is the Success4Teens, aka Formula for Success a self- help DVD”. Well first, one has to ask what is self- help..? When defining such a term, it’s assumed that there is something in one’s life that’s NOT working, at least not working the way they want things to work.
Troubled teens are faced with a multitude of issues, such as depression, lack of motivation, issues with their self-esteem and confidence, drugs, booze, even issues with their perception of their “body” and weight loss issues.
The DVD Success4teens covers the fundamentals of How to get it together, mentally, physically and spiritually. Each is a lesson in and of itself, and all together is like the “three legged stool”…if one leg is not working, the stool will not function.
It can be overwhelming as to exactly where to begin. The head needs to be on straight, so let’s start with the mental part. This section works with the issues of goal setting, time management, how to deal with setbacks and How to create that “all illusive” positive mental attitude.
Tomorrow we will begin at the beginning…….stay tuned….!!
A few days ago a mom wrote to me and asked where and when I was speaking in Southern California. I informed her that I was speaking at Creekside H.S. Leadership Academy in Irvine and also Cal State Fullerton over the next few weeks.
The mom also thought that her daughter might not watch the Success4Teens DVD if she gave it to her, but that she might be more inclined to watch it in a “group setting”. I agreed with the mom that it was highly unlikely that her daughter would watch it for two specific reasons. 1.) it was provided by “the parental unit” therefore no good, and 2.) she ’s not motivated to succeed- only her mother is.
What’s more important was exploring the “group setting”. This is where I need to be real clear. My belief (as covered in my Success4Teens DVD) is that 95% of the people on the planet are not successful, and that’s because they are part of “the herd” or the “group setting”. And as we always said on Wall Street, the herd gets slaughtered”…!!!
Success, in my opinion, is very INDIVIDUALISTIC”. The success principles I laid out in “Formula for Success” aka. Success4Teens are for individuals to execute – NOT groups. The rules for success are proper time management, goal setting, knowing HOW to deal with setbacks and HOW to create a positive mental attitude…..these are done on an individual basis not a group basis. The DVD Success4Teens is meant to educate first, then inspire. Motivation comes when the individual employs the principles…!!!!
I have often been asked how did I set the World Record for completing 20,100 consecutive sit-ups in 11hours and 32 minutes. There are many factors, however today I want to talk about just one of them - proper breathing techniques and the benefits derived from them. In my DVD success4teens or Formula for Success, I only touch upon these techniques when I did the fitness section. I’d like to give credit to Mike Kramer for writing the following article which accurately describes the features and benefits of :
Proper Breathing
Proper breathing is an underestimated, but critical building block of good health. Slow, deep breathing gets rid of carbon dioxide waste and takes plenty of clean, fresh oxygen to your brain and muscles. More blood cells get the new, oxygen-rich air instead of the same old stale stuff. Experts estimate that proper breathing helps your body eliminate toxins 15 times faster than poor, shallow breathing. You’ll not only be healthier, but you’ll be able to perform better (mentally and physically) and, of course, be less stressed and more relaxed.
Here’s an exercise that will help you get the full benefits of good breathing. The techniques in this exercise are ones you should try to develop in your normal breathing, and that could take practice. Try to take about 10 minutes, but it can happen in five by cutting the time for each step in half. Most of it can be done anywhere you need to relax or clear your head:
- Get Ready (2 minutes) Make the room dark, or at least darker. Lie down flat on your back, or sit against a wall. Use a pillow for comfort. Make sure no part of your body is strained or supporting weight. Close your eyes. Just pay attention to your breathing for a minute or two. Don’t try to change it, just notice how it feels. Imagine the fresh blood flowing through your body. Listen to your surroundings.
- Stage I (2 minutes) Practice breathing in and out of your nose. Exhaling through the mouth is okay for quick relaxation, but for normal breathing, in and out the nose is best. Take long breaths, not deep breaths. Try not to force it, you shouldn’t hear your breath coming in or out. You’re drawing slow breaths, not gulping it or blowing it out. Feel the rhythm of your breathing.
- Stage II (3 minutes) Good breathing is done through the lower torso, rather than the upper torso. Each breath should expand your belly, your lower back and ribs. Relax your shoulders and try not to breathe with your chest. Put your hands on your stomach and feel them rise and fall. If it’s not working, push down gently with your hands for a few breaths and let go. Your stomach should start to move more freely. Relax your face, your neck, your cheeks, your jaw, your temples, even your tongue.
- Stage III (3 minutes) Feel the good air entering your lungs and feel the stale air leaving your body. “In with the good, out with the bad” is definitely true here. Make your exhale as long as your inhale to make sure all the bad air is gone. Remember, long slow breaths. Most people take 12-16 breaths per minute. Ideally, it should be 8-10. Now try to make your exhale a little longer than your inhale for a while. Pause after your exhale without taking a breath. Focus on the stillness and on not forcing an inhale. Your body will breathe when it needs to.
This morning I was speaking with my friend Sandra about the concept of stress. To her credit, she said we should give the old word more meaning, so we decided that the new word will be “worries”.
We seem to worry about everything, money, health, kids, relationships, and it goes on and on. I often say whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve. That also goes for worries. We not only worry about everything — but we also seem to prioritize our worries, they seem to get a number, like 1 through 100. This is what I call singular stress. It goes to complex stress when you take on yours– as well as someone else’s at the same time. What I call “data overload”.
Stress and or worries are all relative. We live in our own world and work within those boundries. Imagine you live in Haiti, I guarantee your priorities would be different, say food, water and shelter.
OK, so now you are saying, great, I agree, but what am I to do about my stress. In my DVD, Success4Teens, I talk about “control what you can control, and don’t worry about what you can’t control”. The mind is the most powerful muscle in the body. Creating a PMA or positive mental attitude is the “start key”. Everything starts with the mind………tomorrow I will give you some great tips…..and NO- drugs are NOT involved.
No matter if you are 20-40-or 60, relationships touch the heart and soul and can affect the way we conduct ourselves in every day life. If we are in a good relationship– we are walking on clouds, if bad, we are lumpy and dumpie.
Everyone needs three things in life. We all need…HOPE….LOVE…and SENSE OF PURPOSE.
In my humble opinion, if you can get the sense of purpose on board first (as a foundation), it will help support the other two. It goes back to what I was saying in yesterday’s blog, that you have to be “good” with you, before you can be “good” with another.
The teen brain is not fully developed until their early twenties. What this means is that what a teen thinks is love might just be better developed ten years from now. Regardless, it’s all one has to go on. In my DVD Success for Teens, I talk about the theory of “the big rocks”. This is where we put the “big rocks” (representing the most important things) in a jar first. The bigger the rocks the bigger the importance.
For example, I would want trust and communication in the first position. Others might want looks or money. I try never to be judgemental, it’s all personal, and hopefully those who want…… say looks first and foremost, find someone else who wants that as well. Who am I to judge….!!
In getting healthy, try to allign the positive attitude for have developed for yourself in the success for teens DVD with someone who has taken the same path.
In my DVD success4teens aka “Formula for Success” we talk about relationships in the “Giving Back” section. In that DVD section I talk about HOW you have to love yourself first, before you can love another. The reason for this is because YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE….!!! Relationships are complex because we are not only trying to deal with “our stuff”, but we think about “their stuff” and are they feeling what we are feeling?? The best thing that an individual can do for themselves is to love themselves first, so even IF love does NOT come along, at least there is a “mini-love fest” with YOU.
I always say: ” a package attracts a package”, and “a project attracts a project”. When we find ourselves attracting the WRONG one it’s because we are not in the “same” group. Get to love YOU and you will find someone that loves THEMSELVES, and then, and only then, will you have a shot at success.
In the Formula for Success we talk about “getting healthy”, that’s an individual that has goals, has a positive mental attitude, knows how to deal with setbacks, has developed self confidence and self-esteem and compliments all this with good fitness and nutrition.
Relationships are complex at best—- tomorrow I will cover some great suggestions for healthy realtionships.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to meet a great mom with twin 6-year old boys. I think it’s in a mom’s (and Dad’s) DNA to want their child to be successful. I told het to go to my website www.success4teens.com and see the video clip at the bottom of the home page called “My Kid”.
The one thing I always say is “The more you do for kids, the less they can do for themselves”. The thing about boys is they will “branch out” and leave mom’s nest. I use the analogy of a young lion leaving the pride. It HAS to go out and make it’s own kill….or it will never survive in the jungle. If the mother lion always went out and brought back “dinner” the young would always expect it and NEVER learn their much needed hunting skills. In reality NO mom wants that.
Just the thought for the day
To me this was the most important aspect of the Success4Teens DVD series. The reason I say that is because, I think we all, whether we are teenagers or grown ups, we fail more than we succeed. It is just the way it is. In fact, I always say to everybody, I probably fail six or seven times before I get a hit. There is a great expression that says to succeed more, fail more. What that means is take some risks. That is what it is all about.
Dealing with setbacks is a very powerful, probably the most powerful, part of the Formula for Success program, because when you can figure out exactly how to deal with setbacks, you can really determine how to be successful.
I get asked about many topics, however, two topics affect me deeply. One deals with suicide and one deals with depression. You know depression is a very interesting thing, there are two types of depression, I am not a doctor, but all kids get depressed sooner or later some where along the line, that’s regular depression, then there is clinical depression which is much more serious and needs to be treated through various meds. I have seen both throughout the country. Don’t ever feel you are alone. There are people you can go to, whether it be a hotline, a parent or teacher, police, fireman, there is always people there that will help you our.
Setbacks are the fabric of success, because the only way to get to the “door of success” is through the “door of failure”
by Bill Morris CEO- Success4Teens.com
It seems that since the beginning of time there seems to be a communication failure between the parental unit (mom & dad) and their offspring (son/daughter). Well, that’s because parents and kids, (a) speak different languages, and (b) have different needs, wants and desires.
For example, as a parent I might be concerned with paying my mortgage and getting along with my spouse, as a teenager I might be concerned about purchasing the next Snoop Dogg or Coldplay CD or possibly getting hold of the new Grand Theft Auto video game.
As a teenager it’s almost an unwritten law to question authority and work against the parental units, because it’s cool. It’s cool because as teenagers we think that mom and dad are “square” and if you are “square”, by definition you know very little.
So now comes the dilemma –“ HOW ” can I reach my kid and impart some common sense into their brain. Well, forget it. The harder we try the less we have to show for it and the more frustration we create for ourselves, which in turn effects us in a negative way. That negative effect snowballs and we are worse off than when we started.
So what is a parent to do? The reality is that our offspring is actually on “automatic pilot”, so, we as parents need to come in from another angle. We need to learn their language and we need to understand their needs. One thing most parents forget is that the “teen brain” is still developing and will until they are in their early twenties. You are saying I’ve tried to communicate with them, but “they/ the offspring” won’t “let me in”.
I always say: “If you always do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you always got”. Think OUTSIDE the box this time.
Create “date night”. This is a night where one parental unit goes out for dinner with one offspring. The rules are simple:
(1.) the parental unit does not talk about school or the myriad of other “gripe issues” they have with the offspring
(2.) the parental unit only talks about how much he/she loves the offspring, no matter what ever happens in life
(3.) the parental unit endorses the fact that he/she knows the offspring will be successful regardless of whatever he/she does in life
(4.) the parental unit does not have an agenda, but rather is there to listen, and on date #1 there might not be that much to listen to.
(5.) the parental unit explains that the offspring can talk about anything they want without fear of reprisal (and mean it).
(6.) the parental unit will share some vulnerabilities (I know this is hard- but necessary ) like something about his/her job they are concerned with that the offspring did not know and maybe his/her spouse does not even know.
(7.) if date night is say Tuesday…..make it every Tuesday.
When I created the DVD Success4teens, a DVD showing kids HOW to “get it together” mentally, physically and spiritually, it was designed from the heart and soul of the parental unit.
After all, it’s not always the message they choose to ignore, it’s the messenger. Let me that messenger. Even if we say the same thing, they might be enamored with my background on Wall Street or that I hold a World Record in fitness.
This DVD is everything we want to say to our kids and more…….because we love them more than life itself, we want the best for them and shouldn’t care HOW they get the message.
In our heart and soul we know their success is our happiness!